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Growth Factor

GF's "CS Goes Pubic" Log

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Hey all. Apologies for the melodramatic reactions. My mind has had an opportunity to cool off. I dont know my next moves, but living where I am, I'll be needing a car. I looked at used cars and do not like what I see in terms of prices. I know up front if I get a new car I'd probably pour in at least $8k on top of what I'd pay for a used car, but much would go towards a good warranty and other protections, which is nothing to scoff at, and the peace of mind of not having a car with baggage. Coming off of a totaled car I was 1-2 payments away from owning completely sucks, but I think I have to chalk that up to a freak accident and needing to be just a tad more vigilant when driving (including not being as reliant on the traffic around me to dictate my pace). I don't think it's a waste of money when I weigh it against a used car that could sink me with repair costs for getting a lemon. But I have a few more days before I have to make some sort of decision. 

 

I've been maintaining a steady exercise regimen, although my diet has been absolutely in the toilet over the past few days. I have noticed diminished muscle tone and definition, but it's not impossible I may also be a tad bloated for unknown reasons. That said, I've experienced precipitous drops in strength and endurance over the past couple of weeks in my pressing and squatting strength, which is annoying. But regarding my fitness, I intend on being more diligent about my eating starting today. 

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20/02/24

 

SQUAT

 

SQUAT

135x8

225x5

275x3

315x1

added belt

375x1 yikes

 

Ok, so I guess I did trash this day. There was no attempt to turn it around. I just up and left frustrated with myself and my state. I think this was before one of my other PT sessions, and I was dealing with a bit of shoulder impingement that wasn't resolved yet. My shoulder is feeling much better as of today, for instance. 

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20/02/27

 

OHP 

 

OHP

95x5

135x5

165x3

185x1

200x0

185x2 <-- RPE 10

155x5 <-- wtf??

 

DIPS

BWx10

+70x9,8,8

 

BO BB ROW

225x12,12,12

 

CHINUPS (BW@235)

BWx10,10,8

 

LATBAR TRI PUSHDOWNS

100x12,12

 

Well, upon further analysis my shoulder strength issue is actually interesting. While my OHP is terrible and has dropped like 40lbs since less than 2 months ago, I think there must be something with the specific movement. I mean I'm still banging out dips with nontrivial weight, so I must have some degree of shoulder strength still in me. 

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20/02/29

 

DEADLIFT C1W4

 

DEADLIFT

315x3x3

 

SSB SQUAT

245x5,10,10,9

 

SSB PIN GOODMORNINGS

205x12,12

 

HANGING VUPS

BWx9,7,7

 

Decent deload workout. I am glad I stuck with the squats and pushed for sets of 10. They felt good. While very light and unchallenging, I did like how powerful and fast my deadlifts felt. It makes me wonder whether perhaps the reintroduction of BO rows contributed to this at all. Either way, I plan on sticking with the BO BB rows. They're just too important of an exercise for me, it seems. 

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On 3/1/2020 at 4:33 AM, Growth Factor said:

although my diet has been absolutely in the toilet over the past few days...it's not impossible I may also be a tad bloated for unknown reasons.

 

lol

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1 hour ago, Emperor G_D said:

 

lol

I skipped some details, but about 2 days ago I looked real dry, with good definition, and even had a girl comment on how nice and defined my abs were. It's hard to imagine I put on enough fat to lose my ab definition in 2 days, so I don't know whether I had been particularly dry and fatter than I think for some time or if I'm bloated now but am generally leaner than I think I am. 

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On 3/2/2020 at 11:57 AM, Emperor G_D said:

I don't think it's likely that you put lots of fat on as much as you got your water balance all fucked up and were retaining water.

I'm pretty convinced that was it. I now am starting to put on some fat, though, as I look noticeably bigger everywhere. But the good news is I also put on lean mass because I look bigger everywhere. 

 

The car was buried last week and I have returned the rental this week. I am now immobile. I am looking at options and contemplating how to proceed, because right now the used car market looks completely ass. It could be car prices in Richmond suck because drivers here suck (lol except ='<  ) so there's high turnover in used cars, but either way we're talking about a difference of ~3k between new and a car that's 2 years older and used. That seems pretty shitty to me. Even worse, I had 2 salespeople try to give me the "we have a deal so good we can't even talk about it until you test drive" spiel, and all they did was knock off 1k off the sticker price. gtfo here with that. My last Civic, they knocked off 4k. I know it was like July 4th or some other holiday around that time (Father's Day?), but lets be real - 1k off the sticker is a joke. 

 

Anyways, I'm not looking to get a US car at all. I'm currently looking at Hondas and wondering why I'm trying to buy a car that's almost half of my year's salary. We'll see if a brighter idea starts occupying my head anytime soon. 

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20/03/01

 

BENCH REHAB 2

 

BRO BENCH

95x12

135x20

185x20

225x12,10

 

SMITH JM PRESS (weight on machine)

90x10

140x6,9,9

 

SEATED NAUTILUS ROW

3P25PSx12,12,10,10

 

DB HAMMER CURLS superset SINGLE ARM TRI ROPE PUSHDOWNS

40x12,10,10

35x8,8,8

 

Had a great workout today. I was happy to be handling 2 plates on the bench again without issue. I think my rehab work is going well. I had even better developments today as I feel the shoulder impingement/bicep tendonitis symptoms are diminishing every week. Hopefully I continue this trajectory. 

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20/03/03

 

SQUAT CXWX

 

SQUAT

135x5

185x5

225x5

275x3

belt

315x5

345x5

365x5 <-- RPE 9.5, but solid form except last one

 

PAUSE SQUATS (3 second count)

225x8

245x8,8

 

GHR

BWx12

+25x6,6,3

 

AB WHEEL

BWx12,12

plankx5

 

Squat strength seems to have returned. No idea why my squats last week were complete dogshit, but I feel much better about them now. I do feel my form is better, but I'm not quite sure what I'm doing differently. 

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I don't want to jump the gun here, guys, but I have to share something with you all.

 

I finally scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist, and in a convergence of luck it was not just one I found through my internet-fu to be the best option in the area, he was also a referral from my mom's therapist. I met with him a few times, and we decided to start me on some medication. Because my main issues are OCD (emphasis on obsessiveness) and depression, with attention-related cognitive deficits, we decided to start with wellbutrin to nail all 3. 

 

We started with a subtherapeutic dose to acclimate to the drug and will begin therapy with a psychologist in the area. I took my first 75mg dose today, and I have to say I felt really dialed in. I can't remember the last time I've felt this way. I had a low stress but very productive day at work, using the downtime for some car shopping. When I got home, in the hour I was waiting for my ride to the gym, instead of fooling around I just decided to do laundry and clean the apartment. I MIGHT do one of those, but I'd never ordinarily do both things within such a small time frame. Is this what it's like to be a functional adult?

 

Anyways, this is to say I think things are turning around. I hope things are turning around. I hope this will be the answer, in addition to therapy. My long term goal is to not need any self-medicating whatsoever, not weed nor wellbutrin. I am clearly benefiting from the drug right now, and I'm a little weary of what I will experience once I escalate my dose, but I hope this is the trajectory I stay on. The benefits of the drug seem huge for me, and the drawbacks seem really minor (outside of seizures). The next drug on the list would be Cymbalta, but I'm not a huge fan as not only does it have the adipogenic profile and can negatively affect sexual characteristics, but it also has some alpha receptor antagonism. Hopefully it's less potent than trazadone for me wrt that, because even a single 50mg dose was too much and would induce pronounced apnea. 

 

 

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20/03/05

 

OHP 

 

OHP

95x8

115x8

135x5

165x3

185x2

175x2

155x8,8 

While RPE 10, I did not feel muscular failure with 185 or 175. Felt it with 155

 

DIPS

BWx10

+70x8,8,8

 

BO BB ROWS

255x10,10,8

 

CHINUPS

BWx10,9,7-8?

 

LATBAR PUSHDOWNS

100x12,12

 

Happy with today's workout. My pace was a little slower, but I was helping a friend with her form at the gym. She basically did the same things as me today. I figured out that I have definitely lost some real strength with the OHP and that it's not just a result of acute injury or form issues related to my pec strain or anything else, because I felt myself reach actual muscular failure on my sets with 155 for 8 reps. But, I feel much better about today's workout than my last week's workout where I barely hit 5 reps around this same weight. That was just inappropriate.

 

I need to go back to the drawing board for my upper body and figure out what my next training phase will look like, because hitting these hard sets, failing reps, or even just hitting doubles isn't going to cut it for OHP strength development for me. 

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There's always a balance between taking a higher dose of a med so that you get the effect, but not so much that the sides become intolerable.

If that's working for you then there's no need to up the dose

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On 3/5/2020 at 11:35 PM, Sanction said:

There's always a balance between taking a higher dose of a med so that you get the effect, but not so much that the sides become intolerable.

If that's working for you then there's no need to up the dose

Thanks for the tip. Makes total sense. Ill address this with my doc when we do my followup. I bet thats going through his mind as well.

 

On my second day, Ive noticed a very pronounced enhancement in my speech abilities. I feel like when I talk, my flow in speech is far smoother. I have fewer tip of the tongue moments, make fewer mistakes in word and idiom choices, and also worry less about phrasing. That is also a weight off my shoulders.

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20/03/11

 

BENCH C1W1

 

PAUSE BENCH (legs in air)

275x5,5,4 <-- RPE 9

 

CG SPOTO PRESS

225x10,9

 

CGBP

225x9,8

 

SEATED NAUTILUS ROW

3P25PSx12,12,12,8 

 

INCLINE YTW

7.5lbx3x8

 

After my PT visit confirmed I had popped a rib and that my spine was also misaligned, maybe from deadlifting, or maybe because my body is used to being in that position. He helped realign it. 

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20/03/12

 

ACCESSORIES

 

SMITH JM PRESS (weight on bar) superset EZ PREACHER CURLS (~15lb bar)

50x10 // 20x10

70x10 //40x10

90x10 //60x10

110x10,10,10 // 70x10,10,10

 

INVERTED ROW superset LATBAR TRI PUSHDOWN

BWx15,15,15

100x10,10,10

 

Had my spine realigned by my PT again in the afternoon before going to the gym. Everything went well. 

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